Positive Thoughts  

Writing types tend to be dreamers and rely less on logistics and more so on personal intuition. So yes, I am one of those people who believe thinking positively equates to greater and more desirable results in life. I also believe everything happens for a reason, and therefore I have no regrets in this life or in any I may have already lived.
I am an open minded person, and in my heart there is nothing too far fetched to believe. Maybe there is a God, and he is purple with 7 breasts and a tail where his beard should sit. Maybe he looks down on us from above, glances west from the east or east from the west, or is always watching through some mystical crystal ball traveling through the space time continuum. I trust that my personal description of this omniscient being is entirely inaccurate. But I also trust that no matter the appearance or description of his power, he or she exists.

He is also my friend. I am not exactly sure why, I don’t always deserve his kindness. But he looks out for me despite my efforts to push him aside. Only recently have I decided to follow a moral compass, and even still I don’t believe I’m doing a good job. 

But, I’m still living without regrets. 

Never have I lost something and wanted it back. Many years ago I lost friend due to drugs and poor life choices. Hers, not mine. I missed that friendship for sentimental reasons, not the authenticity of our friendship. We were in different places in our lives and let’s just say my place was several stories higher and is now beyond any horizon line she can see past. She was also the one to end the friendship, something I might not have had the strength to do myself. 

I want to thank someone, I’m not sure who, for giving me the things I don’t deserve in life. Like when you close the door on someone before they reach the elevator and then find a 5$ bill in the lobby. Perhaps I’m just immune to karma, or there’s a master plan somebody has written for me and refuses to let my stupidity get in the way. I truly believe my guardian angel needs 12 espresso shots a day just to keep me alive. 

I know many would disagree with this entire idea, and instead suggest that it is my own hard work and dedication that has brought me this far in life. To those individuals who do not believe in luck, we’ve clearly never met. 

In any case, I did not expect my life to be going exactly as planned up until this point. To this day, my motto has always been, “So far, so good.” I intend to keep it that way. 

I decided to write this post because of how often I think of my luck compared to those less fortunate than myself. I want to remind myself that my troubles are small, and that I could save my sorrows and instead use that energy to help others. They say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But as an educator I always see room for modification and improvement. 

I am grateful to have been offered a position as a third grade teacher almost immediately after graduating from an impressive institution. I am grateful to be living with my best friend in a NYC apartment located in the West Village. I am grateful to have lost what I didn’t need and grateful to have gained what I did. 

I am happy, I am healthy, and I truly believe there are even greater things to come. 

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Scraps – The Awkward Glitch

And this is the moment I realize there is a serious glitch in my choice of career.

I can score all the A’s I want in my college courses, but that will never retract the social awkwardness I have when saying hi to a fellow teacher walking down the hall.

“Hi how are you?” Mrs. Lazarus greets me politely.

“Good I am.” I stutter back.

Perhaps I’m coming down with a case of the Yoda’s. Whatever the issue, this only inflates my desire to become a professional writer. In the solitude of my own four walls, I never have to greet my pen before using it.

Scraps – The Nutty Compliment

Yesterday I went to see the nutty professor to talk about our last test, maybe score a few extra points. I thought his grading was a bit unfair, so I took a stab at it. Surprisingly, he said something that made me smile, and not those fake smiles you give a professor to kiss his/her ass. He told me I was a good writer. “Where did you learn to write like this?” was all he continued to say. “Half of what you wrote is completely wrong, but it was so beautifully written I couldn’t mark you off.” I left his office with nothing accomplished but a compliment and a stupid smile. I guess I’d rather be a good writer.

Journal Entry #12

~Another Break Bites The Dust~

Dorm sweet dorm.

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Hundson Line – Metro North

I keep thinking it’s Monday. I came home from break yesterday and my brain won’t accept that today is Tuesday. I’m surprised I even showed up to the right classes this morning, considering I forgot all about my advisor meeting at 3:15. I’ve heard of jet lag, but what about train lag?

4:07 I e-mail my advisor, apologizing for skipping our scheduled meeting which I desperately I need in order to choose classes for next semester. She e-mails back asking If I could come at 6:30, which I surprisingly arrived on time for. Especially since I had to squeeze Zumba class and dinner in between.

Speaking of dinner, I was so excited that the cafeteria, for once, had something mouth watering. Greek “Yemista,” or in English, stuffed peppers. It was the most filling thing that place has ever fed me. It made me a little home sick as well.

Last night I cooked steak for the first time and with all honesty it was brilliant. The meat I purchased was a bit tough, but I cooked it to perfection. I decided to chop up a potato and make some fries to go with it.

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Journal Entry #7

~Call Me Carter, But I’m Going To Complain~

I have never complained about a professor like I am about to.

I love my classes, for the most part. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by a department of teachers whose soul purpose is helping us learn the material and succeed in our studies. All except one.

Dr. Van Ornum, professor of Measurement and Evaluation for teacher education, has received excellent reviews for his class, a helpful guy and an “easy A.” While I am not too sure about the former, he definitely is an “easy A.”

A few weeks ago my class took a test based on only half of what is actually considered “Measurement and Evaluation.” The man, with his odd hand gestures and senseless rambling, gave us all 55 point curves after realizing two sections of his test were designed poorly.  “Only two?” I thought to myself.

Anyway, most if not all of the class received a decent grade. Tomorrow I have his midterm, and did I study for it? Nope. Here is why.

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Spread The Word To End The Word

As many of you already know, I am not only an aspiring writer, but a college student studying to become an elementary school teacher with a double major in Psychology and Special Education. My roommates and I are teaming up to spread awareness to stop the offensive use of the word “retarded.” Like this post, share it, join our Facebook event below or vow to take this pledge with us!

We pledge #Respect through our words and actions. Will you? Pledge now to create communities of inclusion for people with ID.

Take the pledge:

http://www.r-word.org/r-word-pledge.aspx

Join our Facebook event group:

https://www.facebook.com/events/900694403286071/

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