Positive Thoughts  

Writing types tend to be dreamers and rely less on logistics and more so on personal intuition. So yes, I am one of those people who believe thinking positively equates to greater and more desirable results in life. I also believe everything happens for a reason, and therefore I have no regrets in this life or in any I may have already lived.
I am an open minded person, and in my heart there is nothing too far fetched to believe. Maybe there is a God, and he is purple with 7 breasts and a tail where his beard should sit. Maybe he looks down on us from above, glances west from the east or east from the west, or is always watching through some mystical crystal ball traveling through the space time continuum. I trust that my personal description of this omniscient being is entirely inaccurate. But I also trust that no matter the appearance or description of his power, he or she exists.

He is also my friend. I am not exactly sure why, I don’t always deserve his kindness. But he looks out for me despite my efforts to push him aside. Only recently have I decided to follow a moral compass, and even still I don’t believe I’m doing a good job. 

But, I’m still living without regrets. 

Never have I lost something and wanted it back. Many years ago I lost friend due to drugs and poor life choices. Hers, not mine. I missed that friendship for sentimental reasons, not the authenticity of our friendship. We were in different places in our lives and let’s just say my place was several stories higher and is now beyond any horizon line she can see past. She was also the one to end the friendship, something I might not have had the strength to do myself. 

I want to thank someone, I’m not sure who, for giving me the things I don’t deserve in life. Like when you close the door on someone before they reach the elevator and then find a 5$ bill in the lobby. Perhaps I’m just immune to karma, or there’s a master plan somebody has written for me and refuses to let my stupidity get in the way. I truly believe my guardian angel needs 12 espresso shots a day just to keep me alive. 

I know many would disagree with this entire idea, and instead suggest that it is my own hard work and dedication that has brought me this far in life. To those individuals who do not believe in luck, we’ve clearly never met. 

In any case, I did not expect my life to be going exactly as planned up until this point. To this day, my motto has always been, “So far, so good.” I intend to keep it that way. 

I decided to write this post because of how often I think of my luck compared to those less fortunate than myself. I want to remind myself that my troubles are small, and that I could save my sorrows and instead use that energy to help others. They say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But as an educator I always see room for modification and improvement. 

I am grateful to have been offered a position as a third grade teacher almost immediately after graduating from an impressive institution. I am grateful to be living with my best friend in a NYC apartment located in the West Village. I am grateful to have lost what I didn’t need and grateful to have gained what I did. 

I am happy, I am healthy, and I truly believe there are even greater things to come. 

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6 thoughts on “Positive Thoughts  

  1. Congrats on the teaching position. You sound like you’d be a good one. God is always there and I don’t know how Christian your beliefs in God go. But it’s where mine have ended up. I know that whatever happens to me in life (and beyond) God will take care of me and I believe he will do the same for you.
    I’m so sorry about your friend, those wounds can hang on to a person for along while. God always offers forgiveness no matter what we’ve done wrong or did without meaning to, or realize looking back. You did the best you could and it’s not your fault and the crux of belief inn God/Jesus is our wrong doing or acts of omission, any kind of sin is forgiven when we ask, when we pray. Praying is often like feeling a large weight drop from your shoulders so I recommend it. This maybe stuff you know, or not your thing yet, but I just wanted you to be okay and I think finding and wanting to follow God is a first step. You don’t have to be perfect just do your best, forgive others, be understanding and Kind, and ask forgiveness when you mess up. It’s that simple.

    All the best,

    Like

  2. Blanca says:

    Hi baby girl!
    I missed reading your posts…You have such a flair for writing, not everyone is as talented. I hope you’re enjoying your new life as an educator and living in NYC…Watch out Carrie Bradshaw here comes Angela Eve!!!!
    Hugs,
    Momma C.😘

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Angela, so good to read one of your posts again. Seems like you are not unlike many, as myself, after college.Realizing that there is purpose in life, because of life. God, you will find, is no more displaced than the interior of your own heart. Congrats on the teaching position! As your love and concern for your students’ wellbeing grows so, too, will your understanding and concept of God become clearer. I know this to be true. For, I taught middle school to high school students for some thirty years. Good luck Angela and God Speed.
    -Alan

    Liked by 1 person

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