Supportive friends can always tell when something isn’t right, when the smiles turn ashy and the laughter shrinks small. Hell, a house cat could probably do the same when it comes to my emotional outbursts… and my kitty isn’t the brightest. So when you break up with your boyfriend of 6 years, for good this time, you should expect your closest bunch to read the mood. Why do I feel like they haven’t?
When you’re a newly singled lady you find that everyone has an opinion and everyone wants you to hear it. “You should stay single for a while to find yourself,” or “You need to get right back out there! But only swipe right on rich, hot guys.”
The worst is when you think you’ve found someone else, and maybe he makes you happy, and then maybe they hate him.
I do value my friends’ opinions, but I’d rather them stay silent than jump at me with playful insults that are a bit less than playful in my mind’s condition. Two months without him and, although I did the breaking up, It still hurts. I often think about whether or not he still even reads my writing. I’m a mentally exhausted short fuse who just wants to stop overthinking.
I am a little neurotic at times and I make awful decisions when I’m single, but I could honestly care less about ‘the right thing to do’ when I just want to do whatever it is that I want to do. For the first time in forever I’ve decided to follow my own advice and ignore the buzz outside. I think I’ve earned that privilege. I’m young, I’m dumb, but I’m not entirely broke. It’s the perfect combination for the adventures I want to get myself into for this brand new and uncertain year ahead.