Letting Your Parents Read Your Sex Scene

Most of us love a good sex scene when it comes to romance novels. You are there with your character; you want to feel what they are feeling. You later applaud the author for allowing you into his or her dirty mind… but what if the author was your son or daughter? Your grandchild?

I am no stranger to romance novels, I own over a dozen copies of historical romances in my bookshelf at home. I often question my favorite authors, however, wondering about their families who must obviously know which genre their offspring write for. Many romance authors even dedicate their books to a parent or grandparent.

A few of you reading this post maybe completely unconvinced. “Who cares if my parents are reading my sex scenes? It’s not like it’s my own sex scene.”

While this is true, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing these inner thoughts with the people who raised me. I started to think about my own parents, my very traditional mother and father, when reading 50 Shades of Grey. I know, it’s a bit cliché, but lets stick with a book most everyone knows. My father would not want to get anywhere near that series if I had written it, and quite frankly the feeling is mutual. Do I want my father, the man who is still on the fence about my dating life, to have any sort of glimpse at my sex life? Yeah sure, I’m not actually banging Christian Grey with handcuffs and whip, but do I want him to know I’d like to be?

I truly believe E.L James does not have this problem. She is at the point in her career where she doesn’t give a damn about who reads her sex scenes. This woman is currently making more money off of her dirty mind in three books than a tenured stripper would in a lifetime.

With that being said, I think there is no shame in writing a sex scene. I love reading them and I know many of you do as well. If my mother comes up to me in a few years when my first novel is published, asking to read copy, would I say no? Of course not! Would I feel one hundred percent comfortable? Maybe not, but I’d give her a fair warning.

To the readers whose parents are traditional, off the boat villagers like my own, you understand where I am coming from. However, I don’t have this view about my late grandmother, because when she passed we found piles of historical romance books all throughout the house. I suppose this is one of those traits that skip a generation, like color blindness or whatever.

Anyhow, you get the picture. In the end, It really depends on how close you are with your parents and whether or not you feel that this is something you can share with them. Would you let your parents read your sex scene? Share your side in the comments below!


  1. I was just researching because I want to blog about this exact thing! My book has a little sex and quite a bit of drug use. It’s weird to think of my family members reading it. I don’t know if any of them have or will. I was pretty wild when I was younger. I don’t think anything I could write about would be that much of a surprise to anyone. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great question, it requires a great deal of thought. I would what many people would consider traditionally minded, so I don’t think I will ever write a graphic sexual scene. Maybe one that alludes to the act (one like it in my book Q Runner, available at Smashwords.com, shameless plug).

    I have another hurdle, letting my daughter read my stuff. Most parents have loved whatever you have done (in most cases) since kindergarten, but your kids, tougher crowd. Of course my kid has a vested interest in appreciating my stuff, because when I get off this mortal merry go round, she will inherit all the copyrights to my stuff.

    I think most writers have a fearless streak in them anyways, they write, and throw it out for the whole world to judge.

    “These are my thoughts, my feelings put into a format I hope you, the reader, will enjoy, and if I am lucky you will tell someone else about it.”

    So I think letting your parents read your sex scene is just another expansion of a writer expressing their courage of exposing their true selves.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s pretty much impossible to write the mental and emotional side of sex credibly without having experienced it yourself, so I think that the family would understand if they know that you’re striving to be a writer. (I can only imagine what actors go through when they have to film a graphic sex scene.)

    Personally, I worry less about what my family will think of a sex scene that I wrote, and more about what the other gender will think of how I wrote that half of the scene. Describing it externally is the easy part. What goes through the mind of the character that isn’t my gender (ie, female) continues to be one of the most difficult things for me to write.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I Know what books my Mum has read. -_- Any sex scene I choose to write can’t possibly be any worse than those. My only hurdle would be that my couples aren’t always straight… One of them classifies as transgender. I know that wouldn’t go down too well. But I believe in inclusive writing so anyone who doesn’t like that can choose not to read. Quite simple.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It took me a while to get through this. It wasn’t just my parents reading it that it bothered me, but everyone that I’m close to. I think to a degree it hindered my writing for a while. It’s nice to know that it is a shared struggle. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Writing a book as well and so far trying to keep the love scenes tasteful but u know sometime I would like to keep them not so tasteful but I will have to wait for a pseudonym for that lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This happens a lot, but honestly, I don’t mind. It might be a little strange, but it’s my writing, my imagination, not me. Write what you want and don’t worry about what other people will think, because there’s always going to be someone who loves you with abandon and someone who despises your work. You can’t please everyone.

    I’m actually interested to see how my mother reacts to some of my writing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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